Lower Multnomah Falls
Earlier in the year, as the whole concept of my wife’s
expanding belly turning into an actual precious-but-time-devouring little person
started to become real, we began thinking about taking a trip together. We knew
the impending demands of parenthood would likely limit our ability to jet off
to exotic locales at the drop of a hat for some time, so it seemed that the
time was right. Given my wife’s blessed condition, it was unlikely that an
adventuresome, outdoorsy getaway was in the cards. Even I was willing to admit that a
“sit-on-the-beach-and-commune-with-the-inside-of-my-eyelids” sort of trip was
the way to go this time. I knew that might entail me having to consume a lot of
fruity beach drinks (after all, I’m drinking for two now), but I was willing to
make that sacrifice because that’s how much I love my wife.
It ain't going to be easy, but Ill get through it somehow...
I had been picturing a jaunt down to Hawaii or the
Caribbean, but we ended up needing to coordinate with a family trip[i],
so we set our sights on a week in Cannon Beach, Oregon as a compromise between
beach vacation and family get together.
I can honestly say I had absolutely no preconceived notions about
Oregon. Everything I thought I knew about Oregon was either extrapolated from
Portlandia[ii] the Goonies, Apple's Oregon Trail video game, or the diaries of Lewis and Clark. I was vaguely aware
they had a coastline, and that the state had some sort of threesome going on
with Washington and California, but other than that my mental map was pretty
much just the Decemberists standing in a big field, waving casually as some poor pioneer's cattle got cholera for the 14th time on the trip. But let it
never be said that complete lack of prior knowledge, foresight, or rational
plan ever stopped me from going anywhere, so off we went.
Day 1
We arrived in Portland well in advance of the rest of our party,
so we took a diversion down the Columbia River Gorge to see waterfalls and
engage in other gorge-related frivolity. Multnomah Falls was only about 20
minutes outside Portland, so we opted to stop there for lunch instead of delving
too far into the culinary weirdness[iii]
of the city itself. On our way there we
took a slightly wrong turn and ended up crossing the Columbia into Washington,
which ended up being totally worth it for the amazing views of Mount Hood down
the Columbia. We spent approximately 27 seconds in Washington, and then crossed
right back over and headed the proper way out to Multnomah.
Multnomah Falls is the iconic tourist stop along the gorge,
so we expecting the restaurant there to be overpriced and underwhelming. Some great views from the deck, beautifully
antiquated décor, a fantastic local beer list, and a mind-blowing olive oil
cake with lemon curd ice cream and berries later, that assessment was
completely overturned.
At Multnomah Falls, Local Beers!,
Inside the Lodge
The falls themselves were smaller than they look in every
dorm room poster you’ve ever seen, but still impressive. Sadly, it was so crowded
that day that an artsy picture of the empty bridge with the falls in the
background was just not going to happen.
Multnomah Falls (B&W), Multnomah
Falls, Stream Bed
A short,
pregnant-wife-friendly, hike to the upper falls revealed some great scenery[iv].
It also revealed a glimpse at how hiking is likely to be redefined for me for
the next several years, as the limits of little legs means that backcountry
idyll is likely to give way to easy stroller access.
Pacific Forest Glade, Upper Multnomah
Falls, Upper Multnomah Falls (B&W)
On the advice of a colleague, we stopped by Wallisville Dam
to tour the fish ladder and hatchery[v].
The dam itself is pretty impressive...the sheer force of the Columbia coming
through it is pretty amazing.
Wallisville Dam, Old infrastructure
The fish ladder experience[vi]
at the Dam was a mad dash, with five
minutes to see everything before they closed.
As we walked along the underwater windows, watching trout and salmon
flash by in quicksilver streaks through the green depth, we came to an end
window that still haunts my dreams. The entire lower edge of the window was
lined with the business ends of an uncountable horde of Pacific Lampreys,
seemingly desperate to chew through the window and burrow their vampiric,
Sarlaac-looking little mouths into whoever was closest. I immediately ushered a
small child in front of me “so they could see better”. I then mentally resolved
to never, ever swim again.
Salmon, Pacific Lamprey, OH GOD THE
HORROR
The fish hatchery down the road was actually surprisingly
lovely. It’s like someone took some English gardens and ponds and, on a whim,
decided to raise fish there. It was easily the loveliest fish hatchery I have
ever been to[vii].
Rainbow Trout Pond, Lavender in the
Hatchery Gardens, White-Crowned Sparrow at the Hatchery
With afternoon waning on, we gradually drove back down the
gorge stopping at several other waterfalls[viii],
and began our trip out to the coast[ix].
Horsetail Falls Approach, Horsetail
Falls (B&W), Lower Wahkeena Falls, Hawkweed on Falls Cliff, Upper Wahkeenah
Falls, Upper Wahkeenah Falls detail (B&W), Big Phallic Log at Upper
Wahkeena Falls
Portland quickly gave way to rolling pastures and then to
thick forests before we finally descended through the dark towards the coast[x].
Meeting up with my wife’s parents at the hotel we had about enough time to be
impressed at the view from our beachfront room, and for some quick hellos
before we all collapsed into our beds.
View from Tolovana Inn
Day 2
The next morning I roused myself early to go out and get
some pictures of the beach at morning light[xi]. The primary draw of Cannon Beach is Haystack
Rock, a massive sea stack directly off the beach.
Haystack Area Megapanoramic, Haystack
Rock Landscape – Morning, Haystack Rock (B&W), Unintentional Panoramic.
I wandered up and down the beach a bit and waded in the
tidal pools[xii]
full of anemones and starfish[xiii]
.
Tidal Pool Landscape, Tidal Pools,
Star Fish, Tidal Pools at Haystack Rock
Haystack is an
important nesting site for a lot of colonial bird species, including some
pelagic like Tufted Puffins[xiv],
so there were already a good number of photographers, birders and tourists out
even before sun broke over the hillsides of the town.
Black Oystercatcher, Tufted Puffin,
Common Murre, Common Murres and Cormorants on Nest, Harlequin Duck
People were just starting to awaken from slumber when I
returned. Kate’s brother and his wife were getting in later that day, so we
opted for a lazy brunch and drive into town while we waited for them. We popped
into the “Pig and Pancake”, which lived up to its reputation as a Cannon Beach
landmark with massive breakfasts. All sensible logic, dietary concern, and
hopes of moving at all during the next three hours were brushed abruptly aside
as I ordered the kielbasa skillet (kielbasa, eggs, gravy, hash browns, and
sourdough pancakes).
Pig and Pancake breakfast, Kate with
Marionberry Syrup
We waddled around the little village of Cannon Beach
afterwards, which stood out to me as having an inordinately high density of
quaintness, floral arrangements, and cedar shingles. Also, seating divided by
political party (I sat on the unlabeled bench set directly between these two).
Cannon Beach, Cannon Beach Floralness,
Left Bench, Right Bench
Kate’s brother Dave and his lovely wife Jessica arrived
later on, and the whole family went out for a walk on the beach and sojourn in
the tidal pools.
Walking the Beach, Tidal Pool
Anemones, Starfish, Kite Flying
In celebration of Kate’s parents anniversary we all went out
for a nice dinner[xv]
before returning to the suite to relax and listen to the waves as the sun set.[xvi]
Obligatory Wooden Captain Statue at
Wayfarers Restaurant, Sunset Beams, Sunset on the Beach
NOTES
[i] We have often joined my wife’s family
over the Fourth of July at a Lake house in the Adirondacks. This year they
opted to do something on the West Coast, in part to make it a bit easier on her
brother and his wife in Seattle.
[ii] Which, honestly, after having been to Portland seems
much less like a skit comedy show, and more a frighteningly realistic
documentary.
[iii] Sadly, this meant we would not be able to stand in
line for two hours at Voodoo Donuts, or navigate a pretentious bistro scene. I
snark, but on the way back the woman in front of us in line at security had a
big pink box of voodoo donuts. I half-contemplated turning her in as a terrorist
and confiscating the donuts.
[iv] It also revealed that one of Kate’s colleagues from Houston
just happened to be there at the same time in the same place. This is not the
first time this has happened to us…once, hiking deep in the Mariposa Grove in
Yosemite National Park, off the beaten trail, Kate ran into another colleague
from Houston. For even longer odds, not only did Kate meet a colleague on this
trip, but one of my colleagues just happened to be staying at the same hotel as
us, the same weekend, in a little town in Oregon. I’m pretty sure this is like
winning the lottery while getting struck by lightning sort of odds.
[v] I have stopped at enough rock-oriented things with my
geologist wife to not feel even remotely guilty about a biological stop.
[vi] Adding to list of great band names…
[vii] Not counting, y’know, nature.
[viii] Horsetail Falls, and the impressive Wahkeenah Falls
with its incredibly phallic waterfall log.
[ix] After much searching along the way, and being unable
to find a decent restaurant, we ate at what may very well be the most
depressing McDonalds in the United States. Old school interior, no playplace,
and the “patio” was literally just two old tables on a solid concrete pad
enclosed by a cement wall. Yet somehow they still had enough pride to fly no
less than three McDonalds flags.
[x] On a trip to Zion National Park in 2006, our arrival
was so perfectly timed, with the golden afternoon light of a beautiful day
creating a magic landscape, that I truly believed we have used up our lifetime
allotment of dramatic arrivals. For every other trip we have taken since then,
it is our tried and true policy to drive through amazing, dramatic scenery in
the sheer inky darkness of night. It’s ok, with the slight exception of missing
out on the sights of Yosemite Valley the first day, that one amazing drive into
Zion was worth a lifetime of shrouded and disappointing entrances. Cannon Beach
did not buck the trend in that regard.
[xi] My wife and her family tend to sleep a good deal later
than I do, so I tend to get my alone time/photography time/wildlife viewing
time/aimless wandering time in during the hours before they wake up. It works
out well as long as no one expects me to be out until 2 am at the club that
same day. Kate’s parents rarely ask this of me.
[xii] Which I was fairly sure were lamprey-free.
[xiii] Yes, I know, “call them sea stars”. No. The Asteroidea
can be called either starfish or sea stars.one isn’t more taxonomically correct
than the other unless you’re referring to a singular species, in which case it’s
best to call it by what it’s named. I know people get up in arms about calling
them starfish, because they’re not fish. Neither are jellyfish, and there’s no issue
there…and sea urchins are not actual Dickensian street children. Since many of
the species we saw had starfish in their actual species name, I am calling them
starfish. "Sea Stars" is no more scientific, it’s just more prevalent
in other European languages.
[xiv] Within about 300 feet and 20 minutes I noted no less
than 8 new (to me) bird species, including Pelagic Cormorants, Brandt’s
Cormorants, Tufted Puffins, Common Murres, Pigeon Guillemots, Harlequin Ducks,
Western Gulls, and Black Oystercatchers. The rest of the trip would prove
somewhat anticlimactic, species-wise, after that first morning.
[xv] I had an amazing freshly caught salmon in a pinot noir
reduction, bring the fish species-I’ve-eaten-this-trip tally to two. By the
time we left it was at least 8. I love the coast. In proper coastal tourist
area fashion, I am proud to report that the restaurant, Wayfarers, had the usual
overly large wooden sea captain statue outside. That’s just pure Americana
right there.
[xvi] The suite we had booked had two actual bedrooms and a
murphy bed in the living room. At first I felt guilty sticking Dave and Jess
with the living room bed while we took a bedroom. As I realized later that
their “room” came with a large picture window overlooking the surf, and was
filled with the sounds of waves and the breeze from the beach, I didn’t feel as
guilty anymore.
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